Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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