Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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