Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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